A husband and wife team in Columbia, SC (a.k.a. “The Motherland”) who comment on everything they see, hear, and experience throughout the week.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

no holiday here...

Hi, this is XX here just to post a quick note about the upcoming holiday. XY and I have done no decorating this year. If you come by our house you will see 2 red bows on our front porch, a jingle bell wreath on our door and a candy can on our walk way. We have not even put up a tree. Maybe all those years growing up where my parents used us kids to unpack and hang up ALL the decorations have made me dislike putting up and taking down a tree every year. Growing up our trees never had a theme; it just looked like someone threw up a bunch of decorations gathered through the years and hung them on a tree with some lights and a tree skirt. The only thing I like about decorating was this wreath that my dad’s mom had made like years and years and years ago and it is still in perfect condition to this day. It is beautiful!!!
It was also my job to vacuum up all those damn tree needles and to try to get the dog to stop drinking the water the tree was sitting in. Then, after Christmas was over my parents made us kids put all the decorations away. That took up my whole Saturday!! I could have been watching movies on the lifetime network and 90210! Oh well! XY and I put a tree up the first Christmas we were dating, but that was the last. It was a pretty tree too! It had gold balls, white lights and burgundy bows all over. We even had a pretty angel that matched our burgundy and gold theme!! But now the thrill in decorating a tree is gone and I am too lazy to pull everything out to decorate for a month just to put it back in a box in the closet upstairs till next year!! The extent of my decorating inside is 2 stockings hanging from our fireplace and some Christmas hand towels and oven mitts in the kitchen!! Even the potheads next door decorated there house!! Oh well another Christmas with no tree! Do I sound heart broken? I think not!!

P.S.
Christmas is not Christmas for me without watching "A Charlie Brown Christmas" on TV!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

The Singles, The Married, & The Outsiders

Okay, since our buddies are blogging on relationships, I feel compelled to do so as well.

The first thing I’d like to straighten out for The Singles (that’s what I’m calling them... The Singles; I’m sure they’ll refer to me and my clan as “The Married) is: once you’re married, the dating ends. Wrong. Once you’re married, the dating begins. Ask The XX. Without question, our best dates came long after we were coupled... and I’d say our best date ever occurred long after our first wedding anniversary! So yeah, I think I’m a dating expert. I consider your single days your *amateur* dates, and once you get married, you move into the pros... more on this later.

The second issue I’d like to address is how most of The Singles think there’s this one magical match on the planet, and they’re just waiting to collide into each other and complete one another like pieces to a jigsaw puzzle. Rubbish. Think about it... there are about 6 billion people roaming this earth. Let’s assume that out of those six billion, two billion are ineligible to become your partner (either too young, too old, or otherwise; and with this I’d like to introduce another category of people... they will be known as The Outsiders; they fall outside of your mating requirements). That leaves four billion for you to shop from. Now let’s assume that everyone has at least one match per billion... that means there’s *at least* four matches for you somewhere on the planet. My gut tells me there are probably even more than that. I use these numbers to illustrate my hypothesis that each earthling has more than one match on this planet... and a percentage of your matches would probably match someone else as well. Having said all this... I’m going to segue to my third point: you’re always in competition for a mate.

If The Singles think for a second (which I think they do) that you’re not in competition to find a mate, you’re severely mistaken. Human Beings aren’t that evolved; we’re still competing for breeding rights just like every other species on the planet. Why do you think men like women with big hips? Why do women like men with broad shoulders? Those basic physical features of attraction should have your question of competition answered. And even after you’ve paired off... you’re still in competition... it’s just that now you’re competing to KEEP your mate.

Once again, I’m leeching material from our pending Pod Cast. The Mac is here (I’m using to post this) and I’ve almost got all the audio needs figured out and in place. As soon as the studio is operational again, we hope to have Virginia Belle on as a special guest to discuss dating.

THE XY!